We don’t measure up, and that’s okay

Some of you may remember a few months ago it posted the details of my weight loss journey. I ended with this piece of advice:

weightloss 007

The irony is I’m not there yet. I set a goal weight for myself and I am a mere two pounds away but these last two pounds have been seemingly impossible to lose. And I wonder if once the scale says those magic numbers if I’ll finally be happy and stop obsessing. I already know that the answer is no. A number on a scale can’t make me happy. It’s loving who I am that will do it and I have to love myself in every condition including this 2 lbs heavier than I want to be condition.

Don’t get me wrong. I am trying. There are days when I feel absolutely beautiful. And then there are days when I feel plain old ugly. But everyday that I remember and try to do better is a day that I’m working toward undoing 23 years of the media telling me what is beautiful and that I’m not it.

I don’t measure up to society’s beauty ideal and I shouldn’t measure up because look at who I’m measuring myself against. People who have never had kids and actresses and models whose literal job depends on how they look. Do you measure your cooking abilities against a world renowned chef who makes it his life’s work to create incredible food? No. Nor should I measure my body against someone who’s job it is to be thin and has unlimited resources to get there.

The only people we should measure ourself against is ourself. That’s it. Not our neighbor or mother or sister or best friend. Just ourselves. I should look in the mirror and say, “Jocelyn, you gorgeous lady, you are looking fabulous and healthy and you are a great mother and human being in general.” Confidence is sexy.

I wish that I was completely confident. I wish that I loved myself in every condition. I wish I could say that I am so proud of myself for losing 38 lbs since September that I can overlook the loose skin on my stomach that is leftover from the stretching it endured to fit a 7 lb baby.

I am so proud to have a baby and proud that my body was able to get pregnant and grow a human. But at the same time I want perfectly flat abs that may be a little harder to obtain at this point. I’m not saying that I’m going to give up on toning. But I am saying that I’m not going to beat myself up about not being there yet. I’m going to (try and remember to) congratulate myself on carrying a baby for 9 months and being the most fit I have ever been in my 23 years rather than zone in on my slightly flabby tummy.

So I guess this post is just to ask every woman out there, if you’ve had a baby or not, and including myself, to just love yourself.

Love yourself for where you came from and what you’ve gone through to get where you are now.

Love the beautiful body God gave you.

Love the incredible things you accomplish everyday (cause you do).

Stop body hating.

Stop picking the one thing about your body you wish you could change.

See yourself as a whole amazing human and love that human!

Your confidence does not depend on how you look. Go ahead and wear make-up and cute clothes cause it makes you feel good. But remember that your confidence is in your actions too. It’s in your accomplishments and your abilities.

If nothing else, feel confident because you have your whole life ahead of you to do with what you want. Don’t squander it by attempting to wish away some belly flab (Jocelyn!).

Stop measuring yourself incorrectly. Because when compared to yourself you do measure up. And that is enough.

And also, watch this video.