A Toddler’s Trip to Target

Finally, Mom is getting me out of this dumb car seat. I hate this thing. Oh wait, is that a soggy cookie in there? Wait I wanted that. Wait Mom! Oo a rock! Stop Mom, stop walking, I want that rock.

“Rock. Rock. Rock.”

“Maybe we’ll get a rock on our way back out to the car. It’s cold, let’s get inside.”

I’m not cold. Mom’s crazy. I see a car. And another rock. And another car! Oh that’s a cart! I wanna ride in the cart. I better get to ride in that cart. Why are we walking past the carts? Does Mom not know that we need that cart immediately?! That one. I want THAT CART!

“Cart. Cart. Cart. Cart. Cart. CART!”

“Yes Evelyn, we’re getting a cart…should we get some popcorn?”

Popcorn?! Did she say POPCORN?! I need popcorn. I want the popcorn. I have to have the popcorn now. She said popcorn, I heard her, where is the popcorn? Why are we waiting? I want the popcorn. Oo that is a big bag of popcorn and I’m going to eat the whole thing by myself cause it’s mine. Popcorn.

“Copcorn? Nummy.”

I want to touch EVERYTHING but I’m stuck in this cart. Why did Mom put me in a cart?! I hate this cart! Oh necklace! So cute. I need to feel it. I should probably taste it too for good measure but I just can’t quite reach it. I really wish I could wipe some of my snot on it too. I need to suck on it. Mom keeps pushing me back into this dumb seat in the cart. I MUST BE FREE!!

Oo a necklace for my arm and Mom is letting me wear it. I love it! It’s the best thing I’ve ever seen in the whole world and I look so cute! I need more of them. I need to wear all of them! No way..Mom is giving me another one to wear! Mm I like these arm necklaces. I should always have these. These are my life.

THAT HEADBAND HAS FLOWERS!

Mmm nom nom nom popcorn.

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I have spent my whole life in this cart I need to get out! Maybe if I ask super nicely Mom will let me out.

“Push? Push? Push?”

“You want to help me push the cart?”

“Yeah”

“Okaay…”

FREEDOM! I did promise to push the cart though so I better do that. This handle is perfect. I can even run. Look Mom, I’m running! Oh, Mom is still pushing. Well that’s not okay. I don’t need help. I can do this all by myself. I’ll just shove her legs out of the way and then I can…Is that a hat?

That hat is fabulous! I need that hat on immediately. The pink, no the purple hat. It’s not staying on my head, oh Mom is helping. Good. Oo and glasses, This look will not be complete without these glasses. I look so cute right now. Wait, Mom is taking the hat. Mom, that’s my hat, give it back! You have to give it back, that’s my hat. And my glasses, not my glasses! Those are MY GLASSES!! AHHHH!

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Oh a new hat. This hat is much more comfortable. And my heart glasses! I love my heart glasses! I’m the best looking person here. Time to go show off to my adoring fans. I’m gonna push this cart for Mom. She doesn’t do it very well. I push way faster than her.

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A BALL! I LOVE THIS BALL! I need it! This is the best ball in the whole world. It’s better than any of the other balls that have ever been ever! Is that a Hello Kitty ball?! I need that ball too. It’s a little big but I think I can fit it under my chin and we’ll be good to go. I love these balls. My life is now complete. This are life.

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Wait a second, wait one second, THAT’S ELMO!!! That’s Elmo in real life. But how can I get him? I have two hands and three things. I need that Elmo. I don’t like this ball that much actually. It’s a pretty dumb ball. I need Elmo more than the ball. Elmo is fabulous. OH HAAY, PUPPIES!!

There are so many puppies I want all the…Barbie? Those are Barbies. I can’t reach them maybe if I…what is that? I don’t even know what it is but it’s so colorful and it makes noises and oo I can push this thing and it makes a popping sound. I just want to touch those little poppers but they’re stuck inside this bubble. WHY CAN’T I TOUCH THEM?!

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I hate this thing. It’s dumb. Oh what’s that? A cart and it’s not so enormous! Why were we using that other cart? This cart is wonderful. I can push it anywhere and everywhere and wow THAT’S A BIG BABY but I need my cart.

I’m going to do something so funny, it’s gonna make mom laugh so hard! Look mom, I’m sleeping on the cart! Hahahahahahaha that’s so silly. Look now Mom, look LOOK! My chin is on the cart. Hahahahaha everyone knows you don’t put your chin on a cart. BAHAHAHAHA! I am so funny!!!

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Mm this pillow looks nice. I think I’ll just take a little rest.

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Oh no! Mom is putting me back in the cart! I don’t want to get back in here, it’s horrible! It’s the worst torture anyone could imagine..Oh look the popcorn. Is that a little Elmo? It is! Mom got me a little Elmo!!! I bet Elmo wants some popcorn. Popcorn..yum yum yum. But why is this paper stuck to Elmo’s hand? I want it off. GET IT OFF!

Mom’s putting Elmo on a big moving table. But she forgot all this other stuff. Here’s her papers and her wallet and her purse and some diapers from her bag. We need to put these on the big moving table too. Mom’s taking them off. I don’t want them off. I want them on.

THE CARD! Mom better let me swipe the card and push the buttons! It’s the only thing I’ve ever wanted to do in my whole life! I just want to push the buttons and hold the card. It will be the best thing in the whole entire of everything that ever was. Can’t I just help. I WANT TO HELP!!! LET ME PUSH THE BUTTONS! AHHH!

We’re going outside! I love outside! My swing is outside!

Is that a rock?

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