Bossy’s Losing it: Strict for the win

IMG_8851 2

As I mentioned in my last Bossy’s Losing it post, I am trying to get back on the losing track and remember why I’m doing this in the first place. In an effort to break all those bad eating habits I had developed over the course of a couple of months of not caring what I was eating I made a crazy strict schedule for myself of when I was allowed to eat.

I know, it sounds kind of weird and restricting but that’s exactly what I need. Think about it this way: I’m an eater. I eat when I’m bored or happy or sad or lazy. It’s my default and it’s something I’m trying to beat. If I had a job with regular hours I’d be busy doing things and wouldn’t have the option of just walking into the kitchen whenever I want. I’d have to pack food for the day and when that food was gone I’d have to stop eating. But I’m at home all day with two kids who frequently put me through all the emotions that make me want to eat. And the kitchen is right there.

So I had to restrict myself. I not only set certain times of day that I could eat, but what point allowance I had for that meal/snack. (Point allowance is weight watcher speak for how much I could eat. Kind of like counting calories).

It’s been two weeks and it’s actually going really well. I do a lot less mindless snacking and a lot more finding things to do during the day other than eat when I’m bored.

The only time I got into trouble is when I took a crossfit class and didn’t have another meal for like 3 hours. I was starving and then maybe over ate a tad. But it’s all a learning process.

I even lost 1.5 lbs. Back on track and I’m feeling great about it. Now wish me luck, because I’m running my half marathon tomorrow!! Eeee!!

Bossy’s Losing it Week 7: Weight loss Mantra

So remember how I gained weight last week? Turns out it was exactly the motivation I needed to break my bad habits and kick my butt in gear to do better. I definitely made up for it this past week! I lost 3 pounds!!

What I learned this week:

As much as you want to accomplish something like weight loss sometimes it’s easy to forget that’s it’s what you really want and why you really want it. As evidenced by my weight gain last week.

The biggest thing that helped me this week, besides my determination to make up for my gain, was this little diddy that I repeated to myself roughly 50 times a day.
eat to live
Usually after the kids are down for a nap and the house is quiet I like to reward myself with something delicious. I make eating more of an event and less of a source of nourishment.

Repeating this to myself reminded me that there are more ways to enjoy myself and other things I can do besides eating.

When I go out to eat, my initial thought is that if I’m going to go out and spend money I’m going to make the most of it and really treat myself to something delicious.

But this mantra has helped me realize that eating out is not a reason to indulge. It’s not like I’ll never eat out again in my life. My purpose for eating is first to sustain life and second to enjoy what I’m eating.

This isn’t to say that I can’t ever eat purely for the sake of treating myself to some mouth watering morsel of goodness; I still have a root beer float nearly every night. It’s just to remind myself that eating for enjoyment is the exception, not the rule.

Non-scale Successes:

When I started this 7 weeks ago I took a “before” picture and it was not pretty. Maybe when I get to where my after should be I’ll let you see it. But in the before photo I have zero visible muscle definition. I have been periodically taking photo updates and I can see a slight difference.

I can actually see some muscles starting to show up in my arms and legs. And I can see that my body is slowly starting to shrink. It’s a pretty good feeling.

So darling readers, if any of you are going through this weight loss journey like me, it’s time for you to come up with your own weight loss mantra. Think about what motivates you or what will encourage you to kick a bad habit or keep going when you really want to quit. If you’re having a hard time, here are some suggestions:

  • A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips
  • I can do hard things
  • It doesn’t matter how slowly you go, only that you don’t stop
  • I may not be where I want to be but I’m better than where I was
  • If you kinda do it, it kinda works. If you really do it, it really works
  • Success requires a backbone not a wishbone
  • What you eat in private shows up in public
  • If you’re driving and you get a flat tire, do you get out of the car and slash the other three? No, you fix it and get back on the road.
  • The question isn’t can you, it’s will you?
  • Ask yourself if what you’re doing today is getting you closer to where you want to be tomorrow.
  • Suck it up and someday you won’t have to suck it in

::

Week 7 loss: 3 lbs

Total loss: 12.2 lbs

 

Bossy’s Losing it Week 6: The dreaded weight gain + mindless eating

There are two big things to understand when embarking on a weight loss journey.

001 It is slow. We all want to have lost the weight yesterday but a fast weight loss doesn’t necessarily mean long lasting results.

002 Every week will not be perfect. (Some weeks will be even less perfect than not perfect.)

It’s not fun but it’s pretty inevitable: Weight gain is bound to happen and this past week it happened for me. But the key is to let it motivate you instead of derail you.

Going into Weight Watchers on Tuesday, I knew it wasn’t going to be good. I did pretty well most of the week but kind of lost it on the weekend and never got back on track. It was only a .8 gain but since I know why I gained, it gave me the kick that I needed to fix some bad habits I had been making.

In weight watchers, all food has point values based on how healthy it is and then you get a daily point allowance based on your weight. My daily point allowance is the highest it can be because I’m nursing. It’s pretty fabulous. I can eat a lot and if I eat my main meals really well then there’s plenty of room for dessert.

But I have this little problem. Sometimes I have it in my head that I have so many points that I can eat whatever I want and I’ll eat something before check and see how many points it is.

For instance, this weekend Chris and I went to the movies and I got those little Twix bites to snack on. A regular package of Twix is 7 points so I figured the little bits would be safe. Boy was I wrong. The next day I checked the points and as it turns out, I spent nearly an entire day’s worth of points on a bag of chocolate.

Similarly I decided to make cinnamon rolls from scratch and then proceed to eat them. Like all of them. And I never even bothered to figure out how many points they were. Not really in line with success.

3 weeks goals blank lines

 

^^Since I just love to make goals and fill out worksheets, I made this goal sheet to keep track of what I want to accomplish in small 3 week increments. Scroll down to see how to fill it out.

What I learned this week:

I need to check the points of the food I’m eating before I eat it instead of after. What I’m doing isn’t exactly mindless eating, I’m not just sitting down with a big bag of something and shoving them in my mouth without paying attention to how much I’m eating, but I’m not being mindful in advance and that’s nearly as harmful.

A little planning is all it takes. I can still have those little Twix bites, I just need to check and see how many points they are, decide how many pieces I want to eat and then plan the rest of my meals for the day accordingly.

So I’ve made a few new goals for this upcoming week:

  • Track the points of everything I plan to eat before I eat it. No more of this back tracking and realizing that I went over my limit at noon and just kept on eating.
  • Drink 8, 8oz glasses of water before I have any other liquid. I love me my diet mountain dew and diet A&W but it tends to make me crave other unhealthy things. Water on the other hand helps me stay full longer and plus it’s like good for you or something..
  • Not use any weekly points. To kind of refresh this week and make up for gaining last week, I’m not going to use any of my extra weekly points. But thankfully since I get so many daily points, I won’t feel deprived.

3 weeks goals filled out

 

^^Just grab some cute little star stickers, fill out your goals and rewards and get earning. I kept my 3 week weight loss goal modest so that it will still take some work but it’s a reasonable goal.

One more big lesson this week was that this is not a straight on track journey. I’m going to get derailed sometimes and slip of course but I have to learn from those slips to make them fewer and farther between and not let human mistakes make me feel like a failure.

Non Scale Successes:

It’s hard to feel like I had any success this week but if I count this whole past week as a failure I might as well give up now.

Despite my bad eating this week, I still got myself out of bed at 6am and worked out 6 days this week! That’s huge for me, especially when I’m ready to get back in bed at around 4pm.

::

Week 6 weight loss: +.8 (gain)

Total Weight loss: 9.4 lbs

Bossy’s losing it week 4: Building Endurance

losing it week 4

What I learned this week:

Exercise is key for faster weight loss and a more well rounded healthy lifestyle.

The key to exercise is consistency, endurance, and consistency. And those two things really work off of each other.

Allow me to elaborate.

It’s totally possible to lose a bunch of weight by just eating right and not really changing your activity level. But for me, eating seems so passive because it’s such a long term thing whereas when I exercise it feels like right at that moment I am actively losing weight and toning my body.

But the best part is that exercise helps you lose weight faster. My midwife compared it to repentance. She said that you may splurge on food a little here and there but you can make up for it with exercise. Totes legit.

It’s literally like that with weight watchers. You earn points when you exercise that can be turned around and used for food. So if you think ahead, you can literally earn your piece of cake by exercising to get the right number of points.

Plus the more you exercise and become more active to lose weight, the more that is becoming a habit and will be incorporated into your daily lifestyle even after you’ve lost all the weight you want to lose.

So I actually really enjoy exercising but last week I had a hard time getting up early enough to do it, if you remember. So I made a goal that this week I would get up every morning and exercise. That was made a whole lot easier when I got a running buddy! Yay!

I’ve never liked running with other people but with this friend it’s perfect. We’re both at the same fitness level because we had babies like a week apart. And she’s also training for a race. Plus we have a lot in common so it’s easy to find things to chat about while we run. The best part is that neither of us wants to let down the other one, so it’s more motivation to get up and run in the morning. I have gone faster and further since I started running with her and I’m so grateful to have someone to do this with.

But here’s where the consistency/endurance lesson comes in. Because I have been so much more consistent with my exercising this week it’s actually gotten a lot easier! There’s not as many days in between my workouts (read zero days) so my endurance is really building. On Saturday I ended up going 5 miles (4 in one go and 1 in another). My Monday workout DVD seemed a lot easier than usual.

I am actually changing my body and I can totally tell by the way it’s performing!

Which brings me to…

Non-Scale Successes:

So obviously a huge one is that I did my fastest mile this week since I started working out again. It was not fast by any means, but it was the fastest I’ve done yet and that seems like a huge victory for me.

Another big one is that I met my goal of working out everyday! Consistency builds endurance people. I’m cold, hard proof (read: body temperature, squishy proof).

This next one is kind of silly but right after I had Remi, I tried to wear a pair of maternity shorts that hadn’t fit at the end of my pregnancy (pretty much for the last trimester) and still didn’t fit. Sad. I hated that I wasn’t pregnant but couldn’t fit into these maternity shorts. Well this week I tried them on and they fit!! Plus a couple pair of maternity capris that were getting a little tight are pretty dang loose on me now. Yeah…I know they’re maternity clothes…what’s the big deal. Well it’s a big deal to me. Progress people.

::

Week 4 weight loss: 2.4 lbs

Total weight loss:8 lbs

Bossy’s losing it: Week 2

scale

Week two on this weight loss adventure turned out to be a raging success!

What I learned this week:

Only weigh yourself once a week at the same time of day in the same type of clothes. Otherwise you’ll hard core freak yourself out. Or at least I did.

See I have this scale sitting right next to my toilet. There’s really no need for me to have it since I weigh in at Weight Watchers each week. I like it that way because it’s good accountability to have someone looking at my weight loss (or gain) and giving me a pat on the back when I do a great job. There’s something about knowing that someone is going to be seeing that number on the scale each week that makes me want to prove that I can stay on track and lose weight. But I digress.

As the week goes by and I’m totally killing by sticking to my diet (it’s really more of a lifestyle change but we’ll call it a diet for simplicity sake) and exercise, I see the scale just sitting there staring at me.

And the scale says, “Hey, you’ve been doing super awesome the past few days you’ve probably lost buckets of weight. Heck you’re probably back down to your goal weight by now…you should check.”

And I reply, “No scale, the numbers you show me might be some kind of trick. I only weigh myself once a week. I’m not falling for your shenanigans.”

And the scale is all, “But what harm could it do. Think of how happy you’ll feel when you see how much you lost.”

And then I realize that I’ve been talking to an inanimate object and I don’t reply, but instead I step on the scale. And do you know what the scale says?  (Yeah it’s still talking) It says, you haven’t lost any weight you fatty…stop eating. And then I fall into a depression thinking, I’ve done everything right this week..what gives?!

But my husband lovingly reminds me that I weigh in tomorrow at Weight Watchers and to stop freaking out already.

Fast forward to weigh in…I lost 3.6lbs this week!!! What?! Stupid scale.

So the moral of this story is: 1) Don’t talk to scales and 2) Only weigh yourself once a week on the same scale in the same clothing preferably on an empty stomach.

This week’s non-number successes:

I got my jog on again this week and was able to go just a little further and little longer and a little faster than last week. Seriously the numbers are nothing big. But if I can keep doing just a tad better every time I run, I’ll be in good shape.

As far as weight training goes, I’ve been doing Jillian Michaels 30 day shred. It’s always my go to DVD to get back into shape. The workouts aren’t easy by any means but they’re nice a short and I like to use them to ease myself back into exercise.

This week I started level two and once I started getting a little more comfortable with the moves (as in I could almost complete all the reps without stopping, almost.) I decided to combine level two and level three for a longer workout. Whew! It kicked my butt but I was able to do the full 45 ish minutes of a workout that was originally only meant to be 2o minutes. Go me!

But probably the biggest success this week is realizing that I like how I look. I have about 40 extra pounds (give or take) that I’d like to get rid of but when I look in the mirror I’m happy with how I look. No body shaming here people! I’ve learned that if you hate on your body now, nothing is going to change even after you lose that 40 pounds. It’ll never be good enough. Love yo’ self!

Looking ahead:

I mentioned before that I’m planning on running my first race, a half marathon! I’m excited to announce that I’m going to sign up for the Tinkerbell half marathon in Disneyland in May 2016. I know that’s super far off but it’s giving me something to look forward to and work towards. I’m so excited!!

::

Week 2 Weightloss: 3.6lbs

Total Loss: 5.2lbs

 

Losing the baby weight again

For most people dieting and losing weight is a daunting task. Usually that’s the case for me too but this time around I’m actually looking forward to losing my baby weight.

Sounds crazy right?!

weightloss again 002

When I went to lose weight the first time after having Evelyn I was stressed and worried and self conscious like nobody’s business. This time, I even gained more weight than I did with Evelyn. Technically I’m at the same number as I was with her but I had a lower starting weight. You would think that I would feel frustrated at being right back where I started but I’m not. Quite the opposite actually.

I remember how empowering it felt to watch the number on the scale go down every week. I remember looking at my before and after pictures and seeing how drastically my body had changed. I remember how good it felt to go shopping and buy clothes in a size smaller than I had ever bought before.

weightloss again 003

^^The second pic is me trying on clothes that I’d have never thought looked good on me before.

I loved seeing how defined the muscles in my arms and legs became. I love the adrenaline of working out and the way I feel when I’m eating right. I am so excited to get back to that place.

weightloss again 006

But I’m not just excited to be that size again, I’m excited about the process of getting there. I’m looking forward to pushing my muscles to their breaking point. I want that feeling of soreness that says, “You changed your body today.” I need to feel that power that comes from intense cardio. I think this time around I can do even better, do it faster, and get even stronger.

I cannot wait to see what my body can do!

weightloss again 004

Last week I started exercising again for the first time in like 2 months or so. I did a moderately good job of keeping up with fitness during my pregnancy but that last trimester kicked my butt. That first day last week that I went for a run, I felt like I was flying. Like a ten pound baby weight had been lifted off my abdomen and suddenly I could move my body again, the way I wanted to.

Don’t get me wrong. It was a hard run and I didn’t go very far. Before I even made it past the first block I was panting and my chest was burning. By the second block I had to walk for a bit. But it didn’t stop me. I pushed myself to go a little further than I had originally planned and at the end I made myself keep running until I got back home, even though I was ready to stop. But I did it. And for day 1, that’s all that matters.

weightloss again 001

Weight Watchers helped me achieve such success last time, that of course I’m using it again! This time around I was able to hit the ground running. Since I’d done it once, I knew what foods I needed to be eating and was able to stock the fridge a few days before I was set to start. When I did it the first time, I had no idea how to be successful or what to eat and it took me a week or so to really hit my stride. Now I can start losing right away and hopefully reach my goal weight even faster.

weightloss again 005

And since working towards something specific is the best type of motivation, I’m planning on running a half marathon sometime in the near future.

Time to get to work. Here goes nothing!

Weight Loss Journey to Loving Myself

Get ready internet, this post is the real me. Not only are you about to find out my actual weight *gasp* but I’m also going to tell you how much I used to weigh, show you some unflattering pictures of myself and give you the down and dirty and how I got from where I was to where I am today.

“But Jocelyn, why in the world would you expose yourself like that?”

Because this whole weight loss journey has taught me so much about myself and has given me a new appreciation for my body. There is so much body hating going on in the world right now for women and men and if I can share even a little of the joy I’ve reached with someone who is beating themselves up for not being Hollywood’s idea of beautiful then I will have achieved my goal with this post.

A little background

weightloss 001

Before I got pregnant I was 127 lbs which is a bit on the heavy side for me. The number I was usually more happy with was 123 lbs. But at 127 I didn’t look bad or “fat” by any means. I was still constantly trying to eat healthier and workout having never been happy with how my body looked.

I gained a whopping 45 lbs with my pregnancy which brought me up to 172 lbs. I felt enormous but I figured I would just lose most of the weight after Evelyn was born. Unfortunately for me, I was not one of those women that just bounced back right after pregnancy. I lost an initial 17 lbs of baby and placenta and whatnot, but after that I couldn’t get past 155 lbs.

weightloss 002

^^A couple days after I had Evelyn

weightloss 003

 

^^A month later, stuck at 155 lbs

I decided to resort to my normal mode of weight loss which is counting calories. Only the problem was that I had no idea how many calories I should be eating. Before when I wanted to lose weight I would go to 1200 calories a day but now I was breastfeeding. I knew I needed to eat more but I didn’t know how much more. I was lost and frustrated and really hating myself.

I went to school everyday completely embarrassed of how I looked. No one there knew I had just had a baby and I hated people looking at me and thinking I was just another fat co-ed. It brought me to tears on more than one occasion. To make matters worse, I had friends who had recently had kids and told me how they didn’t diet or exercise and the weight seemed to just fall off of them. I was discouraged and embarrassed and lost.

My mom was still living with us at that point and was being so wonderful and supportive. She took me shopping and bought me some new jeans since I was done with maternity clothes but was still too big for my pre-pregnancy pants. Then after watching me break down again, she suggested weight watchers.

Losing the Weight

I sat in that first meeting with two morbidly obese women and all I could think was that I was a failure. This was a place for fat people and I was a fat person now. This was my life. But I was too busy having a pity party for myself that I didn’t key in on the fact that people come here to get help losing weight and that’s exactly what I was doing.

[Read more…]