Bossy’s Losing it: Strict for the win

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As I mentioned in my last Bossy’s Losing it post, I am trying to get back on the losing track and remember why I’m doing this in the first place. In an effort to break all those bad eating habits I had developed over the course of a couple of months of not caring what I was eating I made a crazy strict schedule for myself of when I was allowed to eat.

I know, it sounds kind of weird and restricting but that’s exactly what I need. Think about it this way: I’m an eater. I eat when I’m bored or happy or sad or lazy. It’s my default and it’s something I’m trying to beat. If I had a job with regular hours I’d be busy doing things and wouldn’t have the option of just walking into the kitchen whenever I want. I’d have to pack food for the day and when that food was gone I’d have to stop eating. But I’m at home all day with two kids who frequently put me through all the emotions that make me want to eat. And the kitchen is right there.

So I had to restrict myself. I not only set certain times of day that I could eat, but what point allowance I had for that meal/snack. (Point allowance is weight watcher speak for how much I could eat. Kind of like counting calories).

It’s been two weeks and it’s actually going really well. I do a lot less mindless snacking and a lot more finding things to do during the day other than eat when I’m bored.

The only time I got into trouble is when I took a crossfit class and didn’t have another meal for like 3 hours. I was starving and then maybe over ate a tad. But it’s all a learning process.

I even lost 1.5 lbs. Back on track and I’m feeling great about it. Now wish me luck, because I’m running my half marathon tomorrow!! Eeee!!

Bossy’s Losing it: Redefining my WHY

Losing the baby weight this second time around has proven to be much harder than it was with Evelyn. I think with her I was just so eager to be skinny skinny skinny and I only had one baby’s schedule to deal with when trying to figure out meal planning, grocery shopping, and working out.

As you can tell from some of my past ‘Bossy’s Losing it’ posts, I have been back and forth this time. I’ll get some great motivation and lose a few pounds and then hit a bump in the road and end up right back where I started.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what I need to do and where I need to be mentally to overcome this. Through this whole journey, my exercise has stayed pretty consistent. I’m still training for my half marathon and it’s going really well! The most I’ve run so far is 11 miles and it was hard but I did it. I’m feeling really good about my progress. The part that I can’t keep up with is what I’m eating.

I’ve been having a rough time with depression lately (another story for another time) and my go to is always food as a comfort. I’ve reached a point in my weight loss where I look good enough. And between my bad eating habits and my consistent exercise, I’ve been able to maintain a weight that’s about 10 lbs more than would be ideal.

So why is it so much harder this time? Why am I so okay with looking good enough? Why can’t I get my head back to where it was after I had Evelyn and stay on the track to weight loss success?

Ultimately it comes down to my WHY. Why am I losing weight? What is my motivation? For so long it was, “I want to look hot” “I want to rock a bikini” “I want people to be so impressed by how great I look” “I want to wear this type of outfit”. That may have worked when I lost weight the first time, but that kind of superficial thinking is obviously not sustainable. Wanting to look good can only get me so far.

So I’ve been trying to redefine my why. It can’t be all about looks because I look good enough. It can’t be based on what other people will think of me because doing something this hard for someone else won’t be worth it. I have to look past the initial weight loss. I have to think in the long term.

Redefining my WHY

This journey is becoming less about making the number on the scale go down, and more about developing a healthy lifestyle. I don’t want my entire life to be an inner struggle about what I can and can’t eat. I wan’t to develop a healthy relationship with food. I want to fuel my body for the kind of activities I enjoy. I want to stop eating so much that I feel sick. I want the things that I eat to give me energy and make me feel good, not guilty and depressed. I don’t want to be ruled by my cravings. I want to have the self discipline to tell my body what it wants, and not listen to the mindless cravings.

This is my new why. In 25 years, when my metabolism slows down, I want to have already overcome this bad eating habits and be able to easily maintain a healthy lifestyle. I don’t want to gain 40 lbs every time I’m pregnant because giving into my pregnancy cravings makes me happy. I’m prepared to treat my body like a two year old. Just because my daughter wants chocolate instead of a healthy lunch doesn’t mean I give it to her. I have to treat myself the same way. Just because my body wants something, doesn’t mean I’ll give in. It’s high time I learn some self discipline and control. Mind over matter.

 

So here we go. This journey isn’t over, and I don’t expect it really ever will be. Developing a healthy lifestyle and breaking a ton of bad habits won’t be easy, but I know it will be worth it in the end.

Bossy’s Losing it Week 20: Sugar Fast Results

Apparently it’s either feast or famine with blog posts around these parts. But you know how it goes. Things get crazy around the holidays.

In case you are wondering the sugar fast went surprisingly well. The first 3 days were pretty miserable. I wanted ALL THE SUGAR. But around day 4, every time that craving came around I immediately remembered that I’m not eating sugar right now. The mantra I kept repeating was, “I can have sugar, I just don’t want sugar.”

Thanksgiving was my first day back on sugar and I was really conservative considering we had cinnamon rolls, candied yams, and two kinds of pie. BUT it only took a little over a week for me to just swing right back into my sugar eating habits.

I lost nearly 2 pounds the week of Thanksgiving and I attribute that to my successful sugar fast. And while the fast did help me during Thanksgiving and a few days afterwards, it’s long term effects were not as successful as I had hoped. Unfortunately, that outcome is what kept me from doing another sugar fast before Christmas. I kind of wish I had though. This week before Christmas I’ve kind of been losing control in terms of sugar consumption and that is the one huge thing that the fast did for me.

It gave me the feeling of control. I didn’t feel controlled by my sugar craving, I controlled it and I loved that. I never wondered if I’d be able to say no to the sugary treats that I didn’t even love that much in the first place, there was no question, I just wasn’t eating sugar.

I think I’d like to do another sugar fast and approach the aftermath differently. Maybe I’ll ease back into it and always keep control by always having a limit. For instance, when I start eating sugar again it will only be one sugar-y type something a day or every other day or something like that.

Things in weight loss land have gone a little down hill since my Thanksgiving success. It’s like I planned so much to not go overboard during Thanksgiving that afterwards I just lost it. I haven’t gained any but my loss hasn’t been too big either.

I’m pretty sure that’s because I’m building so much muscle in these weight lifting classes I’m doing at the gym (Power Pump and X Fusion). One week I was sure I had gained 5 lbs from all the Nutella I had consumed but was surprised to find out that I lost .2. Not huge, but better than gaining. I really think it’s because muscle helps you constantly burn more calories. amiright?? (I’m no health guru here…just making guesses.)

Maybe after the holidays I’ll join the rest of the free world and do some kind of sugar or juice fast or something to try and get in gear for New Year’s health resolutions. Or maybe I’ll just start tracking my points again. That would be a good idea too.

I haven’t been to weight watchers in a couple weeks because holidays got me feelin like I’ve gained back everything I’ve ever lost and I’m not really ready for that harsh reality. But next week I start training for my half marathon so I’m hoping that will give me the motivation I need to get back on track.

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Total Weight Loss: -23.8lbs

Bossy’s Losing it Week 12: Getting back on the wagon

Confession time: I know you may think, since I posted about it a few weeks ago, that I have overcome emotional eating. Ha. If only writing about it on my blog made me an instant expert, that would be nice. But no. So the past two weeks or so I fell off the weight loss wagon a little bit.

**Fun historical side note** The phrase “on the wagon” originated during the height of prohibition in the 1890s. It was originally “on the water cart” or “on the water wagon”. A water cart was used to wet dusty roads in the summer. People would say, “Yes I’m thirsty, but I’d rather climb aboard the water cart for a drink than break my pledge to stop drinking.” So if they started drinking again they had fallen off the wagon. Interesting or nah?

Every couple days I would remember and try to eat well but I had no desire to go grocery shopping so we were eating out a lot and I worked out maybe twice in two weeks. I started reaching this point where I forgot why I wanted to lose weight. I was looking in the mirror and thinking, “I think I look good enough…there are plenty of attractive people who are the same size as me. Who’s to say I need to keep working at this?”

What I learned this week:

choose your hard

I didn’t go to weight watchers for those two weeks because I didn’t want to know how much weight I had gained. THIS WAS NOT A GOOD IDEA! If I had gone and gained weight it would have motivated me to do better. If I had gone and lost weight it would have motivated me to keep going.

In my daily facebook scrolling a few days ago, something popped up on my timeline that was a major “Aha!” moment.

“Losing weight is hard. Being over weight is hard. Choose your hard.” I’ve started applying that to every aspect of my life.

Getting up early to work out is hard, but trying to find time to work out during the day is hard. Choose your hard.

Eating right is hard. Having a body running on junk food is hard. Choose your hard.

It helped me remember that I’m not only losing weight to look better but to feel better too. To get back my confidence. To be able to run that half marathon. To comfortably fit into the clothes that I love.

Going back to Weight Watchers this week was the first step. I had lost 3.6 lbs. It was the motivation I needed to jump back on that wagon and get my eating and workouts in check.

So here I am friends. I am flawed but I am trying. It doesn’t matter how slowly I go, as long as I don’t stop.

Stay with me. I know that it’s hard to keep motivation all the time and it’s okay when you fall off the wagon. Just make sure you don’t stay off.

When you get a flat tire do you get out of the car and slash the other three? No. You fix the one and get back on the road.

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Week 12 weight loss: 3.6 lbs

Total weight loss: 18 lbs

Free Printables for Weight loss motivation

So my Bossy’s Losing it posts have been a bit scattered. I had a little lapse in motivation but don’t worry, you’ll get a new one on Saturday and it will be loaded with what to do when you just don’t feel like staying on top of it.

Until then, I’ve made some free printables for you! Yay! In the last Bossy’s Losing it post, I listed several suggestions to use as your own weight loss mantra but I only posted my mantra as a printable. My lovely mother requested that I turn the rest of those mantra suggestions into printables as well. So I did.

And here they are for you! Just click on the photo and you can print it right from your browser or download it to your computer and then print it from there. Happy weight loss motivation!

I printed a couple of these out to hang on my fridge which is where I go when I want food. When I see them there they give me a chance to rethink my food choices and make healthier ones to stay on the right track.

better than where i was

ask yourself

do not stop

 

eat to live copy

 

hard things

 

kinda v really

 

success

suck it up

 

will you

 

mantra collage

Bossy’s Losing it Week 7: Weight loss Mantra

So remember how I gained weight last week? Turns out it was exactly the motivation I needed to break my bad habits and kick my butt in gear to do better. I definitely made up for it this past week! I lost 3 pounds!!

What I learned this week:

As much as you want to accomplish something like weight loss sometimes it’s easy to forget that’s it’s what you really want and why you really want it. As evidenced by my weight gain last week.

The biggest thing that helped me this week, besides my determination to make up for my gain, was this little diddy that I repeated to myself roughly 50 times a day.
eat to live
Usually after the kids are down for a nap and the house is quiet I like to reward myself with something delicious. I make eating more of an event and less of a source of nourishment.

Repeating this to myself reminded me that there are more ways to enjoy myself and other things I can do besides eating.

When I go out to eat, my initial thought is that if I’m going to go out and spend money I’m going to make the most of it and really treat myself to something delicious.

But this mantra has helped me realize that eating out is not a reason to indulge. It’s not like I’ll never eat out again in my life. My purpose for eating is first to sustain life and second to enjoy what I’m eating.

This isn’t to say that I can’t ever eat purely for the sake of treating myself to some mouth watering morsel of goodness; I still have a root beer float nearly every night. It’s just to remind myself that eating for enjoyment is the exception, not the rule.

Non-scale Successes:

When I started this 7 weeks ago I took a “before” picture and it was not pretty. Maybe when I get to where my after should be I’ll let you see it. But in the before photo I have zero visible muscle definition. I have been periodically taking photo updates and I can see a slight difference.

I can actually see some muscles starting to show up in my arms and legs. And I can see that my body is slowly starting to shrink. It’s a pretty good feeling.

So darling readers, if any of you are going through this weight loss journey like me, it’s time for you to come up with your own weight loss mantra. Think about what motivates you or what will encourage you to kick a bad habit or keep going when you really want to quit. If you’re having a hard time, here are some suggestions:

  • A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips
  • I can do hard things
  • It doesn’t matter how slowly you go, only that you don’t stop
  • I may not be where I want to be but I’m better than where I was
  • If you kinda do it, it kinda works. If you really do it, it really works
  • Success requires a backbone not a wishbone
  • What you eat in private shows up in public
  • If you’re driving and you get a flat tire, do you get out of the car and slash the other three? No, you fix it and get back on the road.
  • The question isn’t can you, it’s will you?
  • Ask yourself if what you’re doing today is getting you closer to where you want to be tomorrow.
  • Suck it up and someday you won’t have to suck it in

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Week 7 loss: 3 lbs

Total loss: 12.2 lbs

 

Bossy’s Losing it Week 6: The dreaded weight gain + mindless eating

There are two big things to understand when embarking on a weight loss journey.

001 It is slow. We all want to have lost the weight yesterday but a fast weight loss doesn’t necessarily mean long lasting results.

002 Every week will not be perfect. (Some weeks will be even less perfect than not perfect.)

It’s not fun but it’s pretty inevitable: Weight gain is bound to happen and this past week it happened for me. But the key is to let it motivate you instead of derail you.

Going into Weight Watchers on Tuesday, I knew it wasn’t going to be good. I did pretty well most of the week but kind of lost it on the weekend and never got back on track. It was only a .8 gain but since I know why I gained, it gave me the kick that I needed to fix some bad habits I had been making.

In weight watchers, all food has point values based on how healthy it is and then you get a daily point allowance based on your weight. My daily point allowance is the highest it can be because I’m nursing. It’s pretty fabulous. I can eat a lot and if I eat my main meals really well then there’s plenty of room for dessert.

But I have this little problem. Sometimes I have it in my head that I have so many points that I can eat whatever I want and I’ll eat something before check and see how many points it is.

For instance, this weekend Chris and I went to the movies and I got those little Twix bites to snack on. A regular package of Twix is 7 points so I figured the little bits would be safe. Boy was I wrong. The next day I checked the points and as it turns out, I spent nearly an entire day’s worth of points on a bag of chocolate.

Similarly I decided to make cinnamon rolls from scratch and then proceed to eat them. Like all of them. And I never even bothered to figure out how many points they were. Not really in line with success.

3 weeks goals blank lines

 

^^Since I just love to make goals and fill out worksheets, I made this goal sheet to keep track of what I want to accomplish in small 3 week increments. Scroll down to see how to fill it out.

What I learned this week:

I need to check the points of the food I’m eating before I eat it instead of after. What I’m doing isn’t exactly mindless eating, I’m not just sitting down with a big bag of something and shoving them in my mouth without paying attention to how much I’m eating, but I’m not being mindful in advance and that’s nearly as harmful.

A little planning is all it takes. I can still have those little Twix bites, I just need to check and see how many points they are, decide how many pieces I want to eat and then plan the rest of my meals for the day accordingly.

So I’ve made a few new goals for this upcoming week:

  • Track the points of everything I plan to eat before I eat it. No more of this back tracking and realizing that I went over my limit at noon and just kept on eating.
  • Drink 8, 8oz glasses of water before I have any other liquid. I love me my diet mountain dew and diet A&W but it tends to make me crave other unhealthy things. Water on the other hand helps me stay full longer and plus it’s like good for you or something..
  • Not use any weekly points. To kind of refresh this week and make up for gaining last week, I’m not going to use any of my extra weekly points. But thankfully since I get so many daily points, I won’t feel deprived.

3 weeks goals filled out

 

^^Just grab some cute little star stickers, fill out your goals and rewards and get earning. I kept my 3 week weight loss goal modest so that it will still take some work but it’s a reasonable goal.

One more big lesson this week was that this is not a straight on track journey. I’m going to get derailed sometimes and slip of course but I have to learn from those slips to make them fewer and farther between and not let human mistakes make me feel like a failure.

Non Scale Successes:

It’s hard to feel like I had any success this week but if I count this whole past week as a failure I might as well give up now.

Despite my bad eating this week, I still got myself out of bed at 6am and worked out 6 days this week! That’s huge for me, especially when I’m ready to get back in bed at around 4pm.

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Week 6 weight loss: +.8 (gain)

Total Weight loss: 9.4 lbs