Bossy’s Losing it: Redefining my WHY

Losing the baby weight this second time around has proven to be much harder than it was with Evelyn. I think with her I was just so eager to be skinny skinny skinny and I only had one baby’s schedule to deal with when trying to figure out meal planning, grocery shopping, and working out.

As you can tell from some of my past ‘Bossy’s Losing it’ posts, I have been back and forth this time. I’ll get some great motivation and lose a few pounds and then hit a bump in the road and end up right back where I started.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what I need to do and where I need to be mentally to overcome this. Through this whole journey, my exercise has stayed pretty consistent. I’m still training for my half marathon and it’s going really well! The most I’ve run so far is 11 miles and it was hard but I did it. I’m feeling really good about my progress. The part that I can’t keep up with is what I’m eating.

I’ve been having a rough time with depression lately (another story for another time) and my go to is always food as a comfort. I’ve reached a point in my weight loss where I look good enough. And between my bad eating habits and my consistent exercise, I’ve been able to maintain a weight that’s about 10 lbs more than would be ideal.

So why is it so much harder this time? Why am I so okay with looking good enough? Why can’t I get my head back to where it was after I had Evelyn and stay on the track to weight loss success?

Ultimately it comes down to my WHY. Why am I losing weight? What is my motivation? For so long it was, “I want to look hot” “I want to rock a bikini” “I want people to be so impressed by how great I look” “I want to wear this type of outfit”. That may have worked when I lost weight the first time, but that kind of superficial thinking is obviously not sustainable. Wanting to look good can only get me so far.

So I’ve been trying to redefine my why. It can’t be all about looks because I look good enough. It can’t be based on what other people will think of me because doing something this hard for someone else won’t be worth it. I have to look past the initial weight loss. I have to think in the long term.

Redefining my WHY

This journey is becoming less about making the number on the scale go down, and more about developing a healthy lifestyle. I don’t want my entire life to be an inner struggle about what I can and can’t eat. I wan’t to develop a healthy relationship with food. I want to fuel my body for the kind of activities I enjoy. I want to stop eating so much that I feel sick. I want the things that I eat to give me energy and make me feel good, not guilty and depressed. I don’t want to be ruled by my cravings. I want to have the self discipline to tell my body what it wants, and not listen to the mindless cravings.

This is my new why. In 25 years, when my metabolism slows down, I want to have already overcome this bad eating habits and be able to easily maintain a healthy lifestyle. I don’t want to gain 40 lbs every time I’m pregnant because giving into my pregnancy cravings makes me happy. I’m prepared to treat my body like a two year old. Just because my daughter wants chocolate instead of a healthy lunch doesn’t mean I give it to her. I have to treat myself the same way. Just because my body wants something, doesn’t mean I’ll give in. It’s high time I learn some self discipline and control. Mind over matter.

 

So here we go. This journey isn’t over, and I don’t expect it really ever will be. Developing a healthy lifestyle and breaking a ton of bad habits won’t be easy, but I know it will be worth it in the end.

Bossy’s Losing it Week 20: Sugar Fast Results

Apparently it’s either feast or famine with blog posts around these parts. But you know how it goes. Things get crazy around the holidays.

In case you are wondering the sugar fast went surprisingly well. The first 3 days were pretty miserable. I wanted ALL THE SUGAR. But around day 4, every time that craving came around I immediately remembered that I’m not eating sugar right now. The mantra I kept repeating was, “I can have sugar, I just don’t want sugar.”

Thanksgiving was my first day back on sugar and I was really conservative considering we had cinnamon rolls, candied yams, and two kinds of pie. BUT it only took a little over a week for me to just swing right back into my sugar eating habits.

I lost nearly 2 pounds the week of Thanksgiving and I attribute that to my successful sugar fast. And while the fast did help me during Thanksgiving and a few days afterwards, it’s long term effects were not as successful as I had hoped. Unfortunately, that outcome is what kept me from doing another sugar fast before Christmas. I kind of wish I had though. This week before Christmas I’ve kind of been losing control in terms of sugar consumption and that is the one huge thing that the fast did for me.

It gave me the feeling of control. I didn’t feel controlled by my sugar craving, I controlled it and I loved that. I never wondered if I’d be able to say no to the sugary treats that I didn’t even love that much in the first place, there was no question, I just wasn’t eating sugar.

I think I’d like to do another sugar fast and approach the aftermath differently. Maybe I’ll ease back into it and always keep control by always having a limit. For instance, when I start eating sugar again it will only be one sugar-y type something a day or every other day or something like that.

Things in weight loss land have gone a little down hill since my Thanksgiving success. It’s like I planned so much to not go overboard during Thanksgiving that afterwards I just lost it. I haven’t gained any but my loss hasn’t been too big either.

I’m pretty sure that’s because I’m building so much muscle in these weight lifting classes I’m doing at the gym (Power Pump and X Fusion). One week I was sure I had gained 5 lbs from all the Nutella I had consumed but was surprised to find out that I lost .2. Not huge, but better than gaining. I really think it’s because muscle helps you constantly burn more calories. amiright?? (I’m no health guru here…just making guesses.)

Maybe after the holidays I’ll join the rest of the free world and do some kind of sugar or juice fast or something to try and get in gear for New Year’s health resolutions. Or maybe I’ll just start tracking my points again. That would be a good idea too.

I haven’t been to weight watchers in a couple weeks because holidays got me feelin like I’ve gained back everything I’ve ever lost and I’m not really ready for that harsh reality. But next week I start training for my half marathon so I’m hoping that will give me the motivation I need to get back on track.

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Total Weight Loss: -23.8lbs

Bossy’s Losing it Week 16: Bye bye sugar!

  
This Bossy’s Losing It post is long over due. It seems like I only ever feel the need to update my weight loss progress when I’ve been doing horribly and then resolve to do better again. If there’s one main thing I’m learning from this whole process, it’s that a weight loss journey is not one straight path there is a lot of up and down and if you get discouraged at every uphill battle, you’ll never succeed.

Since my last update I have been on a big uphill battle. I found a workout buddy and started some epic challenging classes at the gym that I LOVE! Working out is definitely my thang! But my eating habits have plummeted into..well almost worse than when I was pregnant. Appalling, I know.

My aunt and mom came into town and I flipped a switch and was binge eating while binge watching Nashville which resulted in gaining 2 lbs in one week! Gah!! What is that?! It has been so long since I’ve lost 2 lbs in one week and now I’ve set myself way back.

But instead of missing my meeting and having a pity party, I decided to go into Weight Watchers and get re-motivated to kick this in the butt.

I’ve been thinking for a while now that I eat WAY too much sugar. Sure it fits into the number of points I’m allotted for the day but I can’t sustain this type of eating pattern for the rest of my life. I’m realizing that as I get older it will be harder for me to keep weight off, so I might as well develop some good eating habits now to carry me through those later years.

For a while, Chris and I were going through two cartons of ice cream a week. A WEEK! That’s utter nonsense. Between his high metabolism and me nursing, it hasn’t effected us too badly in the weight gain department. But like I mentioned before, we cannot sustain this lifestyle.

Then I watched this fabulous documentary that I highly recommend. It’s called Hungry for Change and it’s on Amazon Prime right now. Among other things it talks about how sugar is an addictive drug and it’s about time the world starts recognizing the havoc it wreaks on our bodies.

That gave me the extra push I needed to enact a sugar fast. We started yesterday and we carry through until the day before Thanksgiving. My hope is that this fast will kind of reset my body to not crave sugar as much. I need to realize that I don’t need a “dessert” after every meal and periodically throughout the day. We’re even saying goodbye to diet soda for the time being (and probably forever) because it’s essentially like drinking a glass of yummy crap. It might taste good and send happy vibes to your brain but it makes you crave more sugar and actually kills brain cells. Boo.

So far I’m doing pretty well, and so is Chris which is amazing considering he basically lives off free candy at the office.

Instead of saying “I can’t have it” I’ve been saying, “I can have it, I just don’t want it.” Reminding myself that I’m choosing to do this and I don’t need to feel deprived.

Last night instead of watching a show we had a gym date and worked up such an appetite that I had four eggs when we got home. All about that lean protein when trying to build muscle. I wasn’t even sad about not getting my bowl of ice cream.

Today I’m feeling the same way and I’m even loving all these extra points I have to eat that aren’t wasted on treats that leave me feeling hungrier than when I started. My meals have become more substantial and keep me satiated longer than normal.

Now here’s to hoping that I can keep this up for the next 7 days.

 

If I want to keep my lifetime status at Weight Watchers I have to lose roughly 12 pounds in 6 weeks! Eek! It’s time to buckle down and get to work. I always was did procrastinate.

And while I’m working on that, you go watch Hungry for Change. Seriously. It’s eye opening. ::

Week 16 Weight loss: + 2.2lbs

Total Weight loss: 18 lbs

Bossy’s Losing it Week 5: Goal Setting

goal setting worksheet

What I learned this week:

Wanting to reach an end goal is all fine and dandy but it doesn’t do you much good unless you make a plan to get there.

I, for instance, want to lose 40 lbs and I can say that all the live long day but there are a lot of steps from wanting to lose 40 lbs and actually doing it. It’s all the little things, the day to day things, that are so critical to overall success.

First you have to make the big goal: Lose 40 lbs.

Then set a time that you want to reach that goal: 5 months.

Next you need to set monthly, weekly and daily goals that lead up to that big 5 month goal.

Monthly: Lose about 10 lbs a month

Weekly: Workout 6 days a week. Jog at least 3 days. Stay within weekly points (weight watchers term).

Daily: Wake up early and workout before the kids wake up. Track everything I eat and stay within daily points (weight watchers again).

So right now, today, 40 lbs sounds a little overwhelming but doing an early morning workout and tracking what I eat for these 24 hours is totally doable and gets me well on my way to that 5 month goal.

goal setting filled out

Non Scale Successes:

Someone commented on how great I look for just having had a baby. Someone else mentioned that they could tell I was losing weight. It’s validating to hear that people notice all the hard work I’m doing.

My workouts have finally become a habit. When my alarm goes off impossibly early I don’t lie there and wonder whether or not I should get up. There’s no question. I just do it. Because that’s what I do in the morning. Bam.

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Remember how I said I wanted to lose about 10 lbs a month? Well this has been month one and so far I’m right on track! Woo hoo!

Week 5 Weight loss: 2.2 lbs

Total Weight loss: 10.2 lbs

Bossy’s losing it week 4: Building Endurance

losing it week 4

What I learned this week:

Exercise is key for faster weight loss and a more well rounded healthy lifestyle.

The key to exercise is consistency, endurance, and consistency. And those two things really work off of each other.

Allow me to elaborate.

It’s totally possible to lose a bunch of weight by just eating right and not really changing your activity level. But for me, eating seems so passive because it’s such a long term thing whereas when I exercise it feels like right at that moment I am actively losing weight and toning my body.

But the best part is that exercise helps you lose weight faster. My midwife compared it to repentance. She said that you may splurge on food a little here and there but you can make up for it with exercise. Totes legit.

It’s literally like that with weight watchers. You earn points when you exercise that can be turned around and used for food. So if you think ahead, you can literally earn your piece of cake by exercising to get the right number of points.

Plus the more you exercise and become more active to lose weight, the more that is becoming a habit and will be incorporated into your daily lifestyle even after you’ve lost all the weight you want to lose.

So I actually really enjoy exercising but last week I had a hard time getting up early enough to do it, if you remember. So I made a goal that this week I would get up every morning and exercise. That was made a whole lot easier when I got a running buddy! Yay!

I’ve never liked running with other people but with this friend it’s perfect. We’re both at the same fitness level because we had babies like a week apart. And she’s also training for a race. Plus we have a lot in common so it’s easy to find things to chat about while we run. The best part is that neither of us wants to let down the other one, so it’s more motivation to get up and run in the morning. I have gone faster and further since I started running with her and I’m so grateful to have someone to do this with.

But here’s where the consistency/endurance lesson comes in. Because I have been so much more consistent with my exercising this week it’s actually gotten a lot easier! There’s not as many days in between my workouts (read zero days) so my endurance is really building. On Saturday I ended up going 5 miles (4 in one go and 1 in another). My Monday workout DVD seemed a lot easier than usual.

I am actually changing my body and I can totally tell by the way it’s performing!

Which brings me to…

Non-Scale Successes:

So obviously a huge one is that I did my fastest mile this week since I started working out again. It was not fast by any means, but it was the fastest I’ve done yet and that seems like a huge victory for me.

Another big one is that I met my goal of working out everyday! Consistency builds endurance people. I’m cold, hard proof (read: body temperature, squishy proof).

This next one is kind of silly but right after I had Remi, I tried to wear a pair of maternity shorts that hadn’t fit at the end of my pregnancy (pretty much for the last trimester) and still didn’t fit. Sad. I hated that I wasn’t pregnant but couldn’t fit into these maternity shorts. Well this week I tried them on and they fit!! Plus a couple pair of maternity capris that were getting a little tight are pretty dang loose on me now. Yeah…I know they’re maternity clothes…what’s the big deal. Well it’s a big deal to me. Progress people.

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Week 4 weight loss: 2.4 lbs

Total weight loss:8 lbs