It’s kinda sad how easy it is to judge someone else and their situation when you’ve never been there. What’s that phrase..hindsight is 20/20? Boy is that the truth.
Being a mother has definitely put my mom-judging in check. For instance, I used to hard core judge a mother at church who let her child run up to the stand multiple times during the service. Now, having had a daughter who loves to run up to the stand and yell and scream during the service, I don’t judge so much.
I also used to slightly judge parents whose kids had messy hair or faces. Ha. I have no room to ever judge that ever. again.
Here’s a short list of other ways I was way too judgey:
- Giving a kid too much sugar
- Letting a kid watch too much tv
- Getting chubby
- Having a gross messy house
- Going to the store in your pajamas
- Opening a food item that you have yet to purchase
Sister, I have been there and I will no longer judge you on any of those things.
^^Yes you can play on the ipad, just please stop yelling “ELMO” at me!
“Oh your child had sugar cereal for breakfast? Mine had a sugar cookie.”
“All your child wants to do is watch TV? Mine loves Elmo!”
“You haven’t showered in three days? Girl, let me hold your babies and you go take an hour to yourself.”
The biggest thing people justify to me specifically is their birth choices. I think they think I’m judging them for not choosing a natural birth. Guess what? I’m so not.
Listen, I did not have to birth your baby, you did. I do not have your body. I made my decision for me and my body and my baby and I absolutely LOVE hearing birth stories no matter how you got the kid out. I would never even utter a whisper of a thought that my labor was harder than yours. Labor is hard period. You got a human out of your body and that is something to be celebrated in whichever manner you did it.
Now, in the same breath I’d be happy to tell you why I chose not to birth in a hospital and why I didn’t want an epidural or a c-section. But if those things worked for you and your labor and your baby then that is all that matters. (I also won’t preach my birth beliefs on you unless you ask.)
I will vow to you right now, that I will not judge you, mom friend. Whoever you are and wherever you may be. I won’t judge your unkempt presence or your sugar laden child. I will not judge your messy house or your baby that just won’t sit still. I won’t judge your birth story or your decision to breast/bottle feed. I just want you to still be my mom friend. Deal?