Well that was fast

preggo test

Getting pregnant with Evelyn happened so quick. I had heard that for a lot of people on birth control, it took several months for the BC to get out of your system before you could conceive. But for us it took one month.

Then I’d heard from other people whose first baby was a ‘surprise’ or who got pregnant really quick that it was difficult to get pregnant with their second child.

And yet, here I am, one month and one positive pregnancy test later and I’m kind of in disbelief.

It was one of those, “Sure, let’s try having a baby,” or rather, “Let’s stop trying not to have a baby” not really expecting a huge outcome. And I was exhibiting some similar symptoms that I had when I was first pregnant with Evelyn so I was sort of already expecting it but when I saw those two little lines slowly appear on that stick I was in a state of shock almost.

I walked into our room and handed the stick to Chris without saying anything. He looked at it. Then looked again. Then looked a little closer and started jumping in place and grabbed me in a huge hug.

“WE’RE GOING TO HAVE A BABY!”

I was equally as excited but shortly thereafter started a brief freak out session. How in the world can I possibly take care of two kids?! And I hate being pregnant! Why did I think this would be a good idea??

But the real question rolling around in my mind that evening was, “How can I love anyone else as much as I love Evelyn?”

I can’t even fathom that there is another little person growing inside me and every time I look at Evelyn I feel like I’ve betrayed her somehow, like all her special mommy/daughter time is about to come to an end, her world is about to change forever and she doesn’t even know it. She’d never be able to understand.

But then I watch her play with her baby doll, or see how fascinated she is with the babies in our play group and I know that she will love being a big sister.

She’s going to love holding the baby and giving him/her kisses. She’ll want to cuddle him/her and push them around in the stroller and rock them to sleep and share all her food and her toys.

It’s a very similar freak out to the one I had when I first found out I was pregnant with Evelyn and things have turned out fabulously with her! I know it’s going to be fine. The unknown is just always a tad scary.

I haven’t really said it out loud yet so I guess I can say it now…. I’M PREGNANT!

Plus I sorta remember what it was like to push Evelyn’s fat head out of my body and I’m not looking forward to doing that again.