Bossy’s Losing it: Strict for the win

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As I mentioned in my last Bossy’s Losing it post, I am trying to get back on the losing track and remember why I’m doing this in the first place. In an effort to break all those bad eating habits I had developed over the course of a couple of months of not caring what I was eating I made a crazy strict schedule for myself of when I was allowed to eat.

I know, it sounds kind of weird and restricting but that’s exactly what I need. Think about it this way: I’m an eater. I eat when I’m bored or happy or sad or lazy. It’s my default and it’s something I’m trying to beat. If I had a job with regular hours I’d be busy doing things and wouldn’t have the option of just walking into the kitchen whenever I want. I’d have to pack food for the day and when that food was gone I’d have to stop eating. But I’m at home all day with two kids who frequently put me through all the emotions that make me want to eat. And the kitchen is right there.

So I had to restrict myself. I not only set certain times of day that I could eat, but what point allowance I had for that meal/snack. (Point allowance is weight watcher speak for how much I could eat. Kind of like counting calories).

It’s been two weeks and it’s actually going really well. I do a lot less mindless snacking and a lot more finding things to do during the day other than eat when I’m bored.

The only time I got into trouble is when I took a crossfit class and didn’t have another meal for like 3 hours. I was starving and then maybe over ate a tad. But it’s all a learning process.

I even lost 1.5 lbs. Back on track and I’m feeling great about it. Now wish me luck, because I’m running my half marathon tomorrow!! Eeee!!

Bossy’s Losing it: Redefining my WHY

Losing the baby weight this second time around has proven to be much harder than it was with Evelyn. I think with her I was just so eager to be skinny skinny skinny and I only had one baby’s schedule to deal with when trying to figure out meal planning, grocery shopping, and working out.

As you can tell from some of my past ‘Bossy’s Losing it’ posts, I have been back and forth this time. I’ll get some great motivation and lose a few pounds and then hit a bump in the road and end up right back where I started.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what I need to do and where I need to be mentally to overcome this. Through this whole journey, my exercise has stayed pretty consistent. I’m still training for my half marathon and it’s going really well! The most I’ve run so far is 11 miles and it was hard but I did it. I’m feeling really good about my progress. The part that I can’t keep up with is what I’m eating.

I’ve been having a rough time with depression lately (another story for another time) and my go to is always food as a comfort. I’ve reached a point in my weight loss where I look good enough. And between my bad eating habits and my consistent exercise, I’ve been able to maintain a weight that’s about 10 lbs more than would be ideal.

So why is it so much harder this time? Why am I so okay with looking good enough? Why can’t I get my head back to where it was after I had Evelyn and stay on the track to weight loss success?

Ultimately it comes down to my WHY. Why am I losing weight? What is my motivation? For so long it was, “I want to look hot” “I want to rock a bikini” “I want people to be so impressed by how great I look” “I want to wear this type of outfit”. That may have worked when I lost weight the first time, but that kind of superficial thinking is obviously not sustainable. Wanting to look good can only get me so far.

So I’ve been trying to redefine my why. It can’t be all about looks because I look good enough. It can’t be based on what other people will think of me because doing something this hard for someone else won’t be worth it. I have to look past the initial weight loss. I have to think in the long term.

Redefining my WHY

This journey is becoming less about making the number on the scale go down, and more about developing a healthy lifestyle. I don’t want my entire life to be an inner struggle about what I can and can’t eat. I wan’t to develop a healthy relationship with food. I want to fuel my body for the kind of activities I enjoy. I want to stop eating so much that I feel sick. I want the things that I eat to give me energy and make me feel good, not guilty and depressed. I don’t want to be ruled by my cravings. I want to have the self discipline to tell my body what it wants, and not listen to the mindless cravings.

This is my new why. In 25 years, when my metabolism slows down, I want to have already overcome this bad eating habits and be able to easily maintain a healthy lifestyle. I don’t want to gain 40 lbs every time I’m pregnant because giving into my pregnancy cravings makes me happy. I’m prepared to treat my body like a two year old. Just because my daughter wants chocolate instead of a healthy lunch doesn’t mean I give it to her. I have to treat myself the same way. Just because my body wants something, doesn’t mean I’ll give in. It’s high time I learn some self discipline and control. Mind over matter.

 

So here we go. This journey isn’t over, and I don’t expect it really ever will be. Developing a healthy lifestyle and breaking a ton of bad habits won’t be easy, but I know it will be worth it in the end.

Bossy’s Losing it Week 20: Sugar Fast Results

Apparently it’s either feast or famine with blog posts around these parts. But you know how it goes. Things get crazy around the holidays.

In case you are wondering the sugar fast went surprisingly well. The first 3 days were pretty miserable. I wanted ALL THE SUGAR. But around day 4, every time that craving came around I immediately remembered that I’m not eating sugar right now. The mantra I kept repeating was, “I can have sugar, I just don’t want sugar.”

Thanksgiving was my first day back on sugar and I was really conservative considering we had cinnamon rolls, candied yams, and two kinds of pie. BUT it only took a little over a week for me to just swing right back into my sugar eating habits.

I lost nearly 2 pounds the week of Thanksgiving and I attribute that to my successful sugar fast. And while the fast did help me during Thanksgiving and a few days afterwards, it’s long term effects were not as successful as I had hoped. Unfortunately, that outcome is what kept me from doing another sugar fast before Christmas. I kind of wish I had though. This week before Christmas I’ve kind of been losing control in terms of sugar consumption and that is the one huge thing that the fast did for me.

It gave me the feeling of control. I didn’t feel controlled by my sugar craving, I controlled it and I loved that. I never wondered if I’d be able to say no to the sugary treats that I didn’t even love that much in the first place, there was no question, I just wasn’t eating sugar.

I think I’d like to do another sugar fast and approach the aftermath differently. Maybe I’ll ease back into it and always keep control by always having a limit. For instance, when I start eating sugar again it will only be one sugar-y type something a day or every other day or something like that.

Things in weight loss land have gone a little down hill since my Thanksgiving success. It’s like I planned so much to not go overboard during Thanksgiving that afterwards I just lost it. I haven’t gained any but my loss hasn’t been too big either.

I’m pretty sure that’s because I’m building so much muscle in these weight lifting classes I’m doing at the gym (Power Pump and X Fusion). One week I was sure I had gained 5 lbs from all the Nutella I had consumed but was surprised to find out that I lost .2. Not huge, but better than gaining. I really think it’s because muscle helps you constantly burn more calories. amiright?? (I’m no health guru here…just making guesses.)

Maybe after the holidays I’ll join the rest of the free world and do some kind of sugar or juice fast or something to try and get in gear for New Year’s health resolutions. Or maybe I’ll just start tracking my points again. That would be a good idea too.

I haven’t been to weight watchers in a couple weeks because holidays got me feelin like I’ve gained back everything I’ve ever lost and I’m not really ready for that harsh reality. But next week I start training for my half marathon so I’m hoping that will give me the motivation I need to get back on track.

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Total Weight Loss: -23.8lbs

Bossy’s Losing it Week 16: Bye bye sugar!

  
This Bossy’s Losing It post is long over due. It seems like I only ever feel the need to update my weight loss progress when I’ve been doing horribly and then resolve to do better again. If there’s one main thing I’m learning from this whole process, it’s that a weight loss journey is not one straight path there is a lot of up and down and if you get discouraged at every uphill battle, you’ll never succeed.

Since my last update I have been on a big uphill battle. I found a workout buddy and started some epic challenging classes at the gym that I LOVE! Working out is definitely my thang! But my eating habits have plummeted into..well almost worse than when I was pregnant. Appalling, I know.

My aunt and mom came into town and I flipped a switch and was binge eating while binge watching Nashville which resulted in gaining 2 lbs in one week! Gah!! What is that?! It has been so long since I’ve lost 2 lbs in one week and now I’ve set myself way back.

But instead of missing my meeting and having a pity party, I decided to go into Weight Watchers and get re-motivated to kick this in the butt.

I’ve been thinking for a while now that I eat WAY too much sugar. Sure it fits into the number of points I’m allotted for the day but I can’t sustain this type of eating pattern for the rest of my life. I’m realizing that as I get older it will be harder for me to keep weight off, so I might as well develop some good eating habits now to carry me through those later years.

For a while, Chris and I were going through two cartons of ice cream a week. A WEEK! That’s utter nonsense. Between his high metabolism and me nursing, it hasn’t effected us too badly in the weight gain department. But like I mentioned before, we cannot sustain this lifestyle.

Then I watched this fabulous documentary that I highly recommend. It’s called Hungry for Change and it’s on Amazon Prime right now. Among other things it talks about how sugar is an addictive drug and it’s about time the world starts recognizing the havoc it wreaks on our bodies.

That gave me the extra push I needed to enact a sugar fast. We started yesterday and we carry through until the day before Thanksgiving. My hope is that this fast will kind of reset my body to not crave sugar as much. I need to realize that I don’t need a “dessert” after every meal and periodically throughout the day. We’re even saying goodbye to diet soda for the time being (and probably forever) because it’s essentially like drinking a glass of yummy crap. It might taste good and send happy vibes to your brain but it makes you crave more sugar and actually kills brain cells. Boo.

So far I’m doing pretty well, and so is Chris which is amazing considering he basically lives off free candy at the office.

Instead of saying “I can’t have it” I’ve been saying, “I can have it, I just don’t want it.” Reminding myself that I’m choosing to do this and I don’t need to feel deprived.

Last night instead of watching a show we had a gym date and worked up such an appetite that I had four eggs when we got home. All about that lean protein when trying to build muscle. I wasn’t even sad about not getting my bowl of ice cream.

Today I’m feeling the same way and I’m even loving all these extra points I have to eat that aren’t wasted on treats that leave me feeling hungrier than when I started. My meals have become more substantial and keep me satiated longer than normal.

Now here’s to hoping that I can keep this up for the next 7 days.

 

If I want to keep my lifetime status at Weight Watchers I have to lose roughly 12 pounds in 6 weeks! Eek! It’s time to buckle down and get to work. I always was did procrastinate.

And while I’m working on that, you go watch Hungry for Change. Seriously. It’s eye opening. ::

Week 16 Weight loss: + 2.2lbs

Total Weight loss: 18 lbs

Bossy’s Losing it Week 12: Getting back on the wagon

Confession time: I know you may think, since I posted about it a few weeks ago, that I have overcome emotional eating. Ha. If only writing about it on my blog made me an instant expert, that would be nice. But no. So the past two weeks or so I fell off the weight loss wagon a little bit.

**Fun historical side note** The phrase “on the wagon” originated during the height of prohibition in the 1890s. It was originally “on the water cart” or “on the water wagon”. A water cart was used to wet dusty roads in the summer. People would say, “Yes I’m thirsty, but I’d rather climb aboard the water cart for a drink than break my pledge to stop drinking.” So if they started drinking again they had fallen off the wagon. Interesting or nah?

Every couple days I would remember and try to eat well but I had no desire to go grocery shopping so we were eating out a lot and I worked out maybe twice in two weeks. I started reaching this point where I forgot why I wanted to lose weight. I was looking in the mirror and thinking, “I think I look good enough…there are plenty of attractive people who are the same size as me. Who’s to say I need to keep working at this?”

What I learned this week:

choose your hard

I didn’t go to weight watchers for those two weeks because I didn’t want to know how much weight I had gained. THIS WAS NOT A GOOD IDEA! If I had gone and gained weight it would have motivated me to do better. If I had gone and lost weight it would have motivated me to keep going.

In my daily facebook scrolling a few days ago, something popped up on my timeline that was a major “Aha!” moment.

“Losing weight is hard. Being over weight is hard. Choose your hard.” I’ve started applying that to every aspect of my life.

Getting up early to work out is hard, but trying to find time to work out during the day is hard. Choose your hard.

Eating right is hard. Having a body running on junk food is hard. Choose your hard.

It helped me remember that I’m not only losing weight to look better but to feel better too. To get back my confidence. To be able to run that half marathon. To comfortably fit into the clothes that I love.

Going back to Weight Watchers this week was the first step. I had lost 3.6 lbs. It was the motivation I needed to jump back on that wagon and get my eating and workouts in check.

So here I am friends. I am flawed but I am trying. It doesn’t matter how slowly I go, as long as I don’t stop.

Stay with me. I know that it’s hard to keep motivation all the time and it’s okay when you fall off the wagon. Just make sure you don’t stay off.

When you get a flat tire do you get out of the car and slash the other three? No. You fix the one and get back on the road.

::

Week 12 weight loss: 3.6 lbs

Total weight loss: 18 lbs

Free Printables for Weight loss motivation

So my Bossy’s Losing it posts have been a bit scattered. I had a little lapse in motivation but don’t worry, you’ll get a new one on Saturday and it will be loaded with what to do when you just don’t feel like staying on top of it.

Until then, I’ve made some free printables for you! Yay! In the last Bossy’s Losing it post, I listed several suggestions to use as your own weight loss mantra but I only posted my mantra as a printable. My lovely mother requested that I turn the rest of those mantra suggestions into printables as well. So I did.

And here they are for you! Just click on the photo and you can print it right from your browser or download it to your computer and then print it from there. Happy weight loss motivation!

I printed a couple of these out to hang on my fridge which is where I go when I want food. When I see them there they give me a chance to rethink my food choices and make healthier ones to stay on the right track.

better than where i was

ask yourself

do not stop

 

eat to live copy

 

hard things

 

kinda v really

 

success

suck it up

 

will you

 

mantra collage

Bossy’s Losing it Week 6: The dreaded weight gain + mindless eating

There are two big things to understand when embarking on a weight loss journey.

001 It is slow. We all want to have lost the weight yesterday but a fast weight loss doesn’t necessarily mean long lasting results.

002 Every week will not be perfect. (Some weeks will be even less perfect than not perfect.)

It’s not fun but it’s pretty inevitable: Weight gain is bound to happen and this past week it happened for me. But the key is to let it motivate you instead of derail you.

Going into Weight Watchers on Tuesday, I knew it wasn’t going to be good. I did pretty well most of the week but kind of lost it on the weekend and never got back on track. It was only a .8 gain but since I know why I gained, it gave me the kick that I needed to fix some bad habits I had been making.

In weight watchers, all food has point values based on how healthy it is and then you get a daily point allowance based on your weight. My daily point allowance is the highest it can be because I’m nursing. It’s pretty fabulous. I can eat a lot and if I eat my main meals really well then there’s plenty of room for dessert.

But I have this little problem. Sometimes I have it in my head that I have so many points that I can eat whatever I want and I’ll eat something before check and see how many points it is.

For instance, this weekend Chris and I went to the movies and I got those little Twix bites to snack on. A regular package of Twix is 7 points so I figured the little bits would be safe. Boy was I wrong. The next day I checked the points and as it turns out, I spent nearly an entire day’s worth of points on a bag of chocolate.

Similarly I decided to make cinnamon rolls from scratch and then proceed to eat them. Like all of them. And I never even bothered to figure out how many points they were. Not really in line with success.

3 weeks goals blank lines

 

^^Since I just love to make goals and fill out worksheets, I made this goal sheet to keep track of what I want to accomplish in small 3 week increments. Scroll down to see how to fill it out.

What I learned this week:

I need to check the points of the food I’m eating before I eat it instead of after. What I’m doing isn’t exactly mindless eating, I’m not just sitting down with a big bag of something and shoving them in my mouth without paying attention to how much I’m eating, but I’m not being mindful in advance and that’s nearly as harmful.

A little planning is all it takes. I can still have those little Twix bites, I just need to check and see how many points they are, decide how many pieces I want to eat and then plan the rest of my meals for the day accordingly.

So I’ve made a few new goals for this upcoming week:

  • Track the points of everything I plan to eat before I eat it. No more of this back tracking and realizing that I went over my limit at noon and just kept on eating.
  • Drink 8, 8oz glasses of water before I have any other liquid. I love me my diet mountain dew and diet A&W but it tends to make me crave other unhealthy things. Water on the other hand helps me stay full longer and plus it’s like good for you or something..
  • Not use any weekly points. To kind of refresh this week and make up for gaining last week, I’m not going to use any of my extra weekly points. But thankfully since I get so many daily points, I won’t feel deprived.

3 weeks goals filled out

 

^^Just grab some cute little star stickers, fill out your goals and rewards and get earning. I kept my 3 week weight loss goal modest so that it will still take some work but it’s a reasonable goal.

One more big lesson this week was that this is not a straight on track journey. I’m going to get derailed sometimes and slip of course but I have to learn from those slips to make them fewer and farther between and not let human mistakes make me feel like a failure.

Non Scale Successes:

It’s hard to feel like I had any success this week but if I count this whole past week as a failure I might as well give up now.

Despite my bad eating this week, I still got myself out of bed at 6am and worked out 6 days this week! That’s huge for me, especially when I’m ready to get back in bed at around 4pm.

::

Week 6 weight loss: +.8 (gain)

Total Weight loss: 9.4 lbs

Bossy’s Losing it Week 5: Goal Setting

goal setting worksheet

What I learned this week:

Wanting to reach an end goal is all fine and dandy but it doesn’t do you much good unless you make a plan to get there.

I, for instance, want to lose 40 lbs and I can say that all the live long day but there are a lot of steps from wanting to lose 40 lbs and actually doing it. It’s all the little things, the day to day things, that are so critical to overall success.

First you have to make the big goal: Lose 40 lbs.

Then set a time that you want to reach that goal: 5 months.

Next you need to set monthly, weekly and daily goals that lead up to that big 5 month goal.

Monthly: Lose about 10 lbs a month

Weekly: Workout 6 days a week. Jog at least 3 days. Stay within weekly points (weight watchers term).

Daily: Wake up early and workout before the kids wake up. Track everything I eat and stay within daily points (weight watchers again).

So right now, today, 40 lbs sounds a little overwhelming but doing an early morning workout and tracking what I eat for these 24 hours is totally doable and gets me well on my way to that 5 month goal.

goal setting filled out

Non Scale Successes:

Someone commented on how great I look for just having had a baby. Someone else mentioned that they could tell I was losing weight. It’s validating to hear that people notice all the hard work I’m doing.

My workouts have finally become a habit. When my alarm goes off impossibly early I don’t lie there and wonder whether or not I should get up. There’s no question. I just do it. Because that’s what I do in the morning. Bam.

::

Remember how I said I wanted to lose about 10 lbs a month? Well this has been month one and so far I’m right on track! Woo hoo!

Week 5 Weight loss: 2.2 lbs

Total Weight loss: 10.2 lbs

Bossy’s losing it week 4: Building Endurance

losing it week 4

What I learned this week:

Exercise is key for faster weight loss and a more well rounded healthy lifestyle.

The key to exercise is consistency, endurance, and consistency. And those two things really work off of each other.

Allow me to elaborate.

It’s totally possible to lose a bunch of weight by just eating right and not really changing your activity level. But for me, eating seems so passive because it’s such a long term thing whereas when I exercise it feels like right at that moment I am actively losing weight and toning my body.

But the best part is that exercise helps you lose weight faster. My midwife compared it to repentance. She said that you may splurge on food a little here and there but you can make up for it with exercise. Totes legit.

It’s literally like that with weight watchers. You earn points when you exercise that can be turned around and used for food. So if you think ahead, you can literally earn your piece of cake by exercising to get the right number of points.

Plus the more you exercise and become more active to lose weight, the more that is becoming a habit and will be incorporated into your daily lifestyle even after you’ve lost all the weight you want to lose.

So I actually really enjoy exercising but last week I had a hard time getting up early enough to do it, if you remember. So I made a goal that this week I would get up every morning and exercise. That was made a whole lot easier when I got a running buddy! Yay!

I’ve never liked running with other people but with this friend it’s perfect. We’re both at the same fitness level because we had babies like a week apart. And she’s also training for a race. Plus we have a lot in common so it’s easy to find things to chat about while we run. The best part is that neither of us wants to let down the other one, so it’s more motivation to get up and run in the morning. I have gone faster and further since I started running with her and I’m so grateful to have someone to do this with.

But here’s where the consistency/endurance lesson comes in. Because I have been so much more consistent with my exercising this week it’s actually gotten a lot easier! There’s not as many days in between my workouts (read zero days) so my endurance is really building. On Saturday I ended up going 5 miles (4 in one go and 1 in another). My Monday workout DVD seemed a lot easier than usual.

I am actually changing my body and I can totally tell by the way it’s performing!

Which brings me to…

Non-Scale Successes:

So obviously a huge one is that I did my fastest mile this week since I started working out again. It was not fast by any means, but it was the fastest I’ve done yet and that seems like a huge victory for me.

Another big one is that I met my goal of working out everyday! Consistency builds endurance people. I’m cold, hard proof (read: body temperature, squishy proof).

This next one is kind of silly but right after I had Remi, I tried to wear a pair of maternity shorts that hadn’t fit at the end of my pregnancy (pretty much for the last trimester) and still didn’t fit. Sad. I hated that I wasn’t pregnant but couldn’t fit into these maternity shorts. Well this week I tried them on and they fit!! Plus a couple pair of maternity capris that were getting a little tight are pretty dang loose on me now. Yeah…I know they’re maternity clothes…what’s the big deal. Well it’s a big deal to me. Progress people.

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Week 4 weight loss: 2.4 lbs

Total weight loss:8 lbs

Bossy’s Losing it Week 3: Emotional Eating

ice cream

 What I learned this week:

Food does not make me feel better. The end.

Listen guys, I’m an emotional eater. Like hard core. This past week was a little rough…well to be honest everyday around 3:00 pm becomes a little rough. It’s the time of day where the kids get up from their nap and I’m starting to get tired (cause I obviously didn’t spend their nap time taking a nap for myself) and I just don’t know what to do with the rest of my day until Chris gets home. These are the times that I am tempted to hunker down in front of the TV and fill my gullet with excessive amounts of anything sugary that has the potential to cheer me up.

And it does for like 2.5 seconds.

And then I feel stuffed and uncomfortable and guilty for bingeing on food that wasn’t really worth it.

And that’s the what I’m trying to remind myself when 3:00 rolls around, accompanied by that temptation. I’m trying to remember that eating doesn’t actually make me feel better and in the long run it makes me feel worse.

For the most part when I gave in to that temptation this week, I checked to see how many points everything was and still tracked everything (weight watchers terms, people). So even though I was emotionally eating, I was intentional and thoughtful about it.

I made it all the way to Saturday night without going over my points for the days/week (you get a daily point value to spend that then another 49 points that you can use throughout the week). Then for some reason on Sunday I gave up and stopped tracking/caring. Part of me figured that by that point it was too late and I was going to gain weight this week anyway. Plus I hardly had a chance to workout this week.  So I decided I’d start fresh next week and chalk the whole thing up to a lost week.

If I had kept tracking on Sunday and Monday it probably wouldn’t have been a bad week.

In the end, although I lost a little momentum, I was still able to lose .4 lbs! Not an all time high but considering the week I had, I was just glad it wasn’t a gain!

My plan for this next week is to make a list of things to do when that 3 o clock feeling rolls around instead of spending my afternoon on the couch.

  • Go for a walk
  • Take the kids to the park
  • Do a craft with Evelyn

Non-Scale Successes:

I don’t feel like this week was much of a success in any regard. Although I will say, while I didn’t work out as often as I would have liked I did try and get in more movement than usual. Going on more walks or playing with Evelyn at the park. I don’t know if it really made a difference but every little bit counts right?

Looking Ahead:

This week I made a goal to get up before the kids everyday and workout. If I can do it for one week maybe I can make a habit and start doing it more regularly. And, like I mentioned, I’m going to make a plan for combatting that emotional eating and find something else to do that will make me feel better in the long run. I should possibly nap more.

Oo and I signed up for the Tinkerbell Half Marathon! Yay! I’m so excited and a little nervous.But mostly excited to get to training and change my body! This will be such a new adventure for me. I think that running something like this is not just about the physical training but the mental training that goes into telling your body what to do and believing that you’re capable.

Even when I’ve lost the weight I want to lose, I don’t ever want to stop pushing myself to try something new, work a little harder, do a little more. I don’t want to become complacent. This race will be the first step on the way to that goal.

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Week 3 Weight loss: .4lbs

Total weight loss: 5.6 lbs