How far along? 35 Weeks
Maternity clothes? Yeah. I got rid of a lot of maternity clothes from Evelyn’s pregnancy, so I didn’t have a whole lot, and the bit that I do have is starting to get small (Or rather I’m getting big) so I actually went out this week and got a few new shirts and a pair of jeans. I know it may seem silly to buy clothes that will last a month but it’s either that or not leaving the house again until this baby pops out. And that’s not really an option.
Best moment this week: My maternity photo shoot. I was actually a little under the weather (read: feeling awful) so I hope that doesn’t show in the pictures, but I think they may have turned out pretty cute. If not because of me, then because of my awesome friend Malae who took the photos.
Miss anything? Such a loaded question right now. This week has been really, really rough. I miss life pre-pregnancy, before I was this large, off-balance, hormone ridden, emotionally unstable creature. Sleeping is sort of impossible. My back hurts whenever I lay down in any sort of position. I miss good sleep. I’m sick for like the milliontyeth time this pregnancy and I just can’t function at anything. I super miss my body being able to do something besides grow a child. I think it’s given up all other responsibilities. Which is great and all because a well developed, healthy newborn is exactly what I want. It just sucks that it comes at such a great expense.
Movement: I guess I just don’t remember Evelyn moving this much. This little boy rolls and pokes and jabs and is just constantly pushing on me. I guess he’s getting a little cramped in there.
Food cravings: None. I haven’t had much of an appetite. I think that does have to do with the head cold and not being able to actually taste food. You know what sucks, is when you do have a craving for something delicious but you can’t bother actually eating it because you wouldn’t be able to taste it anyway.
Anything making you queasy or sick: My cold. Boo! I feel so miserable. As if being nine months pregnant wasn’t difficult enough. I also get a cough that makes me throw up, a completely congested head and nose, inability to sleep, and body aches. yay.
Worst symptom: Pregnancy.
Have you started to show yet: Yeppers. And then some.
Gender: It’s a boy!
Belly Button in or out? Out.
Wedding rings on or off? Haven’t really been wearing jewelry. The last time I put them on they still fit.
Happy or Moody most of the time: So moody. So emotional. Pretty sure I have pre-partum depression. Is that a thing?
Looking forward to: In the shortest term, I’m looking forward to getting better from this cold. Next, I’m looking forward to moving upstairs (hopefully by next Saturday). After that, it’s not being pregnant anymore quickly followed by meeting my son and super quickly after that is having my mom come take care of me because I’m useless I tell you!
Okay..Honesty time: I took a little break from blogging this week due to an unpleasant head cold. I’m hoping that I can continue to keep up with 3 posts a week as this pregnancy continues, but no promises.
As I’ve been sick this week, I’ve been reflecting a lot on how hard this pregnancy has been. Morning sickness, multiple illnesses, kidney stones, the stress of the house building process, taking care of a toddler, among other things. But honestly the hardest part is how everyone reacts to pregnancy so differently and how it makes me feel incompetent.
Some women can have a job and be working out and hiking and traveling and keeping up with every aspect of their life until the day they meet their little one. I am not one of those people. I have become an emotional disaster and I literally can’t even at this point. I imagine that people look at me and think, “what’s the big deal?” It’s true, that the health of my pregnancy and baby have been normal. I’m not on bed rest, I don’t have like pre eclampsia or any scary pregnancy conditions, so what’s wrong with me??
In the end I just have to remember that just like everyone births differently, everyone does pregnancy differently. I just don’t happen to do it very well. I just can’t compare myself to anyone else.
All I know is that I just can’t. I don’t have any condition to explain it, but I just can’t. Please don’t judge my horribly messy house, the lack of food in my kitchen (haven’t bought groceries in weeks), or my daughter watching excessive amounts of television. All I can do right now is sit, or sleep and probably cry a lot.
Wanna know a secret? Sometimes I wish I would be put on bed rest so I have an excuse to other people for this behavior. But I know in the end it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. I just have a month left. I can make it one more month right?